Handling your immature husband is a nightmarish experience you dread in your married life. Every time i felt sad or hurt it was my fault and i even apologized most of the time. As kids transform and grow into teenagers, they learn all about coping with emotions and dealing with said change. Instead, try these 3 ways to handle an immature husband. Implying that it's YOUR fault for having a legitimate, healthy response to his inappropriate behavior and not his fault for doing something that was out of line. However, reacting in front of everyone will only prolong the drama. When it comes to immature men, they all tend to have similar bad habits. They also don't realise that just because you proved that something is "not logical" does not make the problem go away. According to PsychologyToday.com, an emotionally immature adult is essentially one that refuses to grow up.. If the one you love is emotionally immature, they can be very co-dependent. And it is a struggle, believe that. When it wears off with time, the same relationship becomes unbearable to him. Here, you’ll learn how to understand him better and take steps to improve your relationship. I never thought this happened to other people too. They think that they don’t act on their own free will. But if he values your marriage as much as you do, he’ll get on board in his own way and time. Unfortunately, a change like this doesn’t happen overnight. I think my dad is narcissists due to being emotionally immature (although is there really an important distinction here?). His immaturity is much more about him than you. (I'm 27f) My whole life, especially as a child I just felt so empty. If you have an emotionally abusive mother, you will probably relate to these signs. Assuming you wish to stay with him, you will need a solid self-care routine to keep you going. At the very least, as often as possible. They often cannot see how shifting the blame, ... “My husband and I can NEVER talk like that. Stay alert and speak up when something isn’t right. I’ve dated multiple guys like this who love to act superior about being logical and not emotional but are a legit mess. Don't let him get away with this behavior, and emphasize that he must understand that he should be committed to the family, too. Understanding this can help you take a step back and see his actions in a different light. Unfortunately, that’s likely all he learned growing up. And, you might pass them on to someone else once you’re done. When you disagree, he stomps off and slams doors. An immature person doesn’t think much about the needs of others. "If your partner is emotionally immature, [they] likely do not know how to support you when you’re going through a tough time, whether it’s job stress or a family crisis," Burns says. Dealing with emotionally immature husband. Emotionally immature people often classify themselves as “very sensitive”. Maturity is about learning that many things won’t go your way. Also, who the fuck wants to be in a relationship, where you're supposed to be on this deeper level of connection with, with someone who is an emotionless, "logical" robot. Think back to those early days and consider his strengths. Bad day at work? I'm just mad!!" Avoid spilling the beans about your specific problems. They will point out repeatedly what you have done wrong, but will never admit to any wrong doing. What I mean is that immature people don’t know that they’re immature. He may frustrate you daily, but that doesn’t make him evil. Here’s How to Erase the Damage…, 10 Modern Tips for Being the BEST Stay at Home Wife (& Loving It!). Also, keep plenty of joyful and fulfilling activities on your calendar to look forward to. Tell him you’d like to sit down and finish that conversation when you have privacy. Some children experience neglect, they are ignored, they are frightened, they can even be smothered with affection. Here are signs of emotional immaturity and steps you can take if you recognize them in your own relationships. I barely experienced real joy, I felt alone, I could turn to no-one for help, I was sad and hid it the whole time. In addition, many men just flat-out don’t know what to do because no one ever taught them. Defend your boundaries and speak up about bad behavior. Like..whaaaat? Often, if an immature husband can see the problem from a man’s point of view, it may finally dawn on him that he can no longer run or hide from his responsibilities. Even grown men can be ridiculously immature and sometimes it … I've encountered way too many people who've used the phrase, "I'm not emotional!!! The emotional parent instills feelings of instability and anxiety The driven parent stays busy trying to perfect everything and everyone The passive parent avoids dealing with anything upsetting The rejecting parent is withdrawn, dismissive, and derogatory. Saw something similar on AskMen about signs of emotionally immature women and I thought it was pretty interesting so I wanted to know the flip side. They are emotionally and socially immature, having little sense about the needs of others or how to mesh what they want with what is expected of them. Because of this, some parts of your marriage might take a lot of energy from you. In fact, he may blame you or brush off responsibility for his problems. Flickr / Mislav Marohnić. Dealing with an Immature Husband. © Defeating Divorce. my ex used to tell me all the time he was the rational and logical one in the relationship and basically every issue we had (him doing something hurtful) was me being my irrational and too-emotional self. By Aya Tsintziras Sep 18, 2016. If yours is emotionally immature, this may be a daily reality for you. As part of our commitment to that mission, the AskWomen subreddit is curated to promote respectful and on-topic discussions, and not serve as a debate subreddit. A truly sensitive person is also sensitive towards others, where an emotionally immature person is not. Edit: I know this isn’t a gendered thing and a lot of responses apply to men, women, and non-binary people. They have little awareness of how their angry outbursts impact those around them. You want a guy that's fun, funny, sweet and charming. Emotionally immature people can appear selfish or aloof. Tell him what you don’t like about his behavior. You want him to turn your bad mood aro. Obstacles are a normal part of life and dealing with change is part of adulthood. They’re right to a large extent, since they’re still growing up and becoming a part of society. Show him how to describe his feelings with “I” statements that don’t involve and blame others. Silence is best and we shouldn't give ourselves up to them. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Don't get us wrong: Women can be emotionally stunted too. But take full advantage of getting your social support. Psychologists claim the biggest problem is that everyone is trying to present themselves in the best light at the beginning of a relationship, so … Think about what he does today that deserves praise. Some people are developmentally delayed in the management of their emotions. So, I’m not going to waste … Furthermore, I’ve learned that immaturity is blind. He's completely unwilling to take responsibility for his words and actions. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. Instead, calm yourself and collect your thoughts. So whether your husband is immature most of the time, or just has immature outbursts here and there, there are some things you can do to make the situation better. Truthfully, having two grown-ups in a marriage is far less emotionally draining and a lot easier. Any reaction you show feeds into his unhealthy behavior patterns. Show your husband how to speak calmly. Your emotionally immature partner will look to you to bail them out whenever life gets tough. It’s not very efficient to work around someone’s mental and emotional games every day. He will find about a dozen things wrong with his home life rather than tell you what happened at the office. An emotionally immature man can be sorted into the ‘feeling lover' category when all he is looking for is the ‘feeling'. When things don’t go his way, he wanders off and pouts. Try exercising daily. These skills help them grow into responsible adults. 10. You certainly can't change emotionally immature people but we should take care not to make enemies out of them. We made out a lot until I couldn't take his idiocy anymore. While you might want to tell him to grow up, that’s probably not the best avenue toward change. If this is how you often feel with your partner, then he could be an emotionally … You may not realize it, but he goes to battle over small problems every day. ...wow. Their solution up until this point is to ignore the problem. Identifying as the "logical" one in the relationship but not having handle on his anger. But how long can you shoulder all the family issues without the help of your immature husband? That doesn’t mean those issues are your fault. That won’t be helpful and will only fuel the energy of his manipulation. Stop playing mother! Your example is important to hold up, if not for yourself, for any children in your home. It’s an unfortunate reality but we can’t escape it; immature men are all over the place. Instead of focusing on his emotionally immature side, look for the skills that make him shine in your eyes. Instead of focusing on his emotionally immature side, look for the skills that make him shine in your eyes. Imagine. Voted up! The site may not work properly if you don't, If you do not update your browser, we suggest you visit, Press J to jump to the feed. If you are committed to your husband, he likely has many other positive qualities. That sounds terrible. Sometimes it’s easier to show what you want to happen than to describe it. After all, you fell in love for many reasons and chose him as a life partner so there’s at least something that attracts you to him. What are signs that a man is emotionally immature? The joke goes that having a husband is like having another child. Stay calm and as unemotionally involved as possible. Keep in touch with loved ones, people you count on for support. You need equal contribution from your husband to handle the never-ending family issues and problems. If nothing else, this concept might help you feel empathy towards his struggle. He was bat shit insane, but a really great kisser. He does not care how you manage the family. Looks like you're using new Reddit on an old browser. These young ones may feel that they are different from others or are unlikable. Saw something similar on AskMen about signs of emotionally immature women and I thought it was pretty interesting so I wanted to know the flip side. It is a kind of high one received with a new relationship. Your best defense is to give him as little emotional fuel as possible to work with. Getting him to apologise is like pulling teeth, and even when he does apologise it's usually said because you "wouldn't shut up" or so the argument/disagreement ends, not out of genuine remorse. Here are some ideas: Take hot baths, use a heating pad, and try breathing exercises. Look for other ways to keep your mindset flexible and your muscles relaxed. 1. I can't stand people who don't classify "traditionally masculine" emotions as emotions. As the titles suggest, these books are for adults who grew up with emotionally immature parents. 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