Did you know that lawyer jokes are so old they can be found in the works of Shakespeare? 59. “You should know that—you were the one who sent me there.”, “That’s not possible,” I said. Here are 75 short jokes anyone can remember! Clean lawyer jokes, funny attorney quotes, one liners and even a few cartoons - recommended daily dose of humor :-) Get link for other Social Networks. Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb? Read the best lawyer jokes and much more related to law on Jokerz. The importance of proofreading the results of my dictation was highlighted one day when a reminder to a client’s tenant to pay her rent or suffer eviction was transcribed as follows: “You are hereby notified that if payment is not received within five business days, I will have no choice but to commence execution proceedings.”. “This is where the judge sits,” I began, pointing to the bench. Q: What is the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull? A: A bad lawyer can let a case drag out for several years. Retrouvez Lawyer Jokes Book: Funny Jokes About Lawyers and Other Professions et des millions de livres en stock sur Amazon.fr. Aug 1, 2016 - This Pin was discovered by Gloria Kim. A second fella goes right up to him and says "Excuse me but that was extremely offensive. Q: What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention? 4790 . THE COMPLETE LIST OF FUNNY lawyer JOKES: 1 - A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counte... More ››. Why did God invent lawyers? If this just so happens to be your chosen profession, don’t take it personally (sidebar: no litigation necessary). Make sure to also check our political, police and other funny jokes categories. More jokes about: food, insulting, lawyer, stupid, Yo mama. “There were only three of us.”. Just say, "Fees." “Then I guess I better watch my grammar,” the defence attorney quipped. CASH PRIZES to the Top 10 Jokes every week! Sep 13, 2012 - This Pin was discovered by Leo Averbach. I guess my soul is pretty healthy because I find myself hilarious. “John,” said the teen who was on trial. Add Comments Comment and share this joke on Facebook or Twitter. While this is absolutely true, it doesn't mean that students have to leave their sense of humor at the door! What is the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a bike? Next, check out the funniest Reader’s Digest jokes of all time. Attorney: “How was your first marriage terminated?” Witness: “By death.” Attorney: “And by whose death was it terminated?” Witness: “Guess.”, Attorney: “Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?” Witness: “All of them. The best lawyer jokes. Perfect to tell your attorney or lawyer in or out of court. Q: Why won’t sharks attack lawyers? # … “You better watch your acting.”. Q: No, the Fifth Amendment. Here Is A Big List Of Funny Lawyer Jokes Collection For This Week. 30 cemetery jokes. “May I help you?” she asked. Jokes4us.com - South Carolina Jokes and More. Check out these (true!) Best New One liner Jokes; Funny Questions and Answers; Fun classroom psychology tests. The live ones put up too much of a fight.”. - Page 3 The guy said, “It’s simple. A lawyer walks into a bar, instead of getting a whiskey he orders just-ice. Follow us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and now Pinterest too! The rest are true stories. November 6, 2019 Updated December 8, 2020. “Welcome to ‘What’s My Fine?’”. What happened to the lawyer who took viagra? What is the difference between lawyers and leeches? "Well, for three reasons. What’s the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer? 2 - A convicted con man was recently found to be impersonating a lawyer in New York City. "How'd you get that?" “May I help you?” she asked. When the bailiff entered the courtroom, he sensed the nervousness of the traffic offenders awaiting their ordeal. "I'm too young to die. 57. Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? AJokeADay.com: Where It Pay$ To Be Funny! The madam opened the brothel door to see a rather dignified, well-dressed good looking man in his late 40s or early 50s. As such, we have compiled a list of ten of the world's best (or worst) lawyer jokes. It’s Funny Cause It’s True. Funny jokes about lawyers, courts and judges. My father lent me $85,000 for my education, and I paid back every penny the minute I tried my first case.” “Impressive. Then he said with great courtesy, “My dear sir, we are not blaming you—we’re just fining you.”. If you’re interested in becoming a lawyer, you’ll need a degree. Q: What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common? The judge had not yet put in an appearance in the San Diego traffic court. While prosecuting a robbery case, I conducted an interview with the arresting officer. Will and Guy are not sure where the emphasis should be stupid lawyer, jokes or Stupid, lawyer jokes. What is the difference between a good lawyer and an excellent lawyer? “That’s very fair, your honour,” the husband said. Funny Jokes; Corny Jokes; Dirty Jokes; Lawyer Jokes; Long Jokes; Naughty Jokes; Hilarious Dirty Lawyer Joke Of The Day: Certain Things In Life. A young man I know, who recently became law clerk to a prominent New Jersey judge, was asked to prepare a suggested opinion in an important case. Lawyer Jokes << We have over 150 Categories of Jokes on our Main Page! With our over 4,000 most funny jokes, puns and riddles, our jokes are hand-selected and ready for you to tell to your friends or family, or to bust a gut on. Q: How many lawyer jokes are there? People slow down in their car when approaching speed humps. How do you make a group of lawyers to smile for a photo? judge said, “and I’ve decided to give your wife $775 a week.”. So when the victim pointed him out in a lineup as one of four men who had attacked him, our client reacted vociferously. What do you call a 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? Funny Clean Joke – 25. What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo? Joke 1: A lawyer dies and goes to Heaven. 73.36% (10 votes) To help someone before they commit a crime means you are their accomplice. Want to sponsor this page? 28. A: Three. ). "Fifty-five?" I am a deputy sheriff assigned to courthouse security. Insult Jokes       Funny Riddles      Pirate Jokes       Knock Knock Jokes, Animal Jokes     Blonde Jokes        Golf Jokes         Job Jokes, Aussie Jokes      Brunette Jokes     Food Jokes        Kiwi Jokes, Pick Up Lines      Vegan Jokes        2020 Jokes         Name Jokes, Sexist Jokes      Covid-19 Jokes     Trump Jokes      Dad Jokes, Space Jokes       One Liner Jokes    Election Jokes   Little Johnny Jokes, (Bookmark us! See more ideas about lawyer jokes, legal humor, lawyer humor. “Yes, from a block away,” the officer answered. “You were my lawyer.”. “I wasn’t even a judge then.”, “No, you weren’t the judge,” the defendant countered, smiling mischievously. In the cemetary. Keep Laughing Forever With These Lawyer Jokes! “He’s lying!” he yelled. Check out more jokes that make you sound smart! Please contact us for more information! A: A fifth of wine? One to shake it. 20 / 75. The author's lawyer defended her rights in the book case. 101 Lawyer Jokes So Funny You Just Can’t Object to Them. 73.4% (10 votes) Q:What's the difference between a Lawyer and a mosquito? Here are funny lawyer jokes and puns. My first question: “Did you see the defendant at the scene?”. A:The Lawyer has a briefcase! © 2021 Reader’s Digest Magazines Ltd. - All rights reserved, We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer), This site uses “cookies” for the purposes set out in our Privacy Policy. Lawyer’s question: Have you lived in this town all your life? Home. Did I know the victim or the defendant? And one to sue the ladder company. That set off the malcontent: “Just how long have you been serving jury duty?”. ", The second fella yells back "no, im an asshole!". Story Jokes. He said he’ll use the money to cut out the part of his brain that won’t stop playing ‘It’s a Small World After All. A: Lipstick Q: What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer? See more ideas about lawyer jokes, legal humor, lawyer humor. 0. Judge: Is that all? “The lawyers sit at these tables. 29. The largest collection of gay one-line jokes in the world. Arrested on a robbery charge, our law firm’s client denied the allegations. But as these court transcripts reveal, the question is, in what? "There must be some mistake," the lawyer argues. “Good morning, ladies and gentlemen,” he said. God understands that he is not a lawyer. says Saint Peter. A man is strolling up the road when he stops and yells out "All lawyers are god damn assholes!" A: His lips are moving Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and an onion? Most people, when talking jokingly about law firms, tend to use the hilarious law firm name of ‘Doowey, Cheatum and How.’ Well, we now have … Q: How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb? A good lawyer knows the law. I would go to hell. After working on the assignment for some time, he proudly handed in a 23-page document. Answers St. Peter, "We added up your time sheets." Know a funny lawyer joke? Two lawyers walking through the woods spotted a vicious looking bear. 27. Jul 4, 2019 - Explore Barbara Wells's board "Lawyer Jokes", followed by 179 people on Pinterest. Check out 50 more corny jokes to celebrate National Tell a Joke Day. The court clerk sits over there. Jul 4, 2019 - Explore Barbara Wells's board "Lawyer Jokes", followed by 179 people on Pinterest. One to climb the ladder. A great lawyer knows the judge. '” — Conan O’Brien. Legally funny! Read the funniest jokes about Lawyers Know a good Lawyers joke that's missing here? Funny Lawyer Jokes. The Great Barrister reef. Law suits. A: A bad lawyer can let a case drag out for several years. Funny Lawyer Jokes. The judge listened attentively while I gave him a long, plausible explanation. Lawyer Jokes and Puns. Near the judge is the witness stand and over there is where the jury sits. See more ideas about Lawyer jokes, Legal humor, Lawyer. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, lawyer. A: Lawyer's don't think they're funny, and no one else thinks they're jokes. Let’s be honest; lawyers make easy targets when it comes to humor. A: His lips are moving Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and an onion? These are the funniest one-liners on the Internet. AJokeADay.com: Where It Pay$ To Be Funny! Funny Lawyer Jokes. A: You cry when you cut up an onion. Do you often have trouble making it to the punchline? Witness: Isn’t that enough? A: They make used car salesmen look good. In Fort Worth, Texas, I was hauled before the judge for driving with expired licence plates. Share with us. A great lawyer knows the judge. Lawyers are often the butt of jokes throughout the world. More jokes about: bar, death, heaven, lawyer A lawyer, a priest, and a young boy were in a plane that was going to crash, yet they only had 2 parachutes. (2/27/2011) A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living. A: Only three. ", The first man says back at him "are you a Lawyer or something? FUNNY LAWYER JOKES: At a convention of biological scientists one researcher remarks to another, "Did you know that in our lab we have switched from mice to lawyers for our experiments?" A gigolo only screws one person at a time. The attorney tells the accused, “I have some good news and some bad news.”, “The bad news is, your blood is all over the crime scene, and the DNA tests prove you did it.”, “A man won an $8,000 settlement from Disneyland after he got stuck on the It’s a Small World ride. Lawyer Pun's The author's lawyer defended her rights in the book case. A: At the city morgue. Home Funny Jokes Bar Jokes Hilarious Dirty Best Lawyer Joke Of The Day: Getting A Date. It prevents people being charged twice for essentially the same service. “Then how could you identify the defendant?” I asked, concerned. The best lawyer jokes, funny lawyer jokes, best lawyer jokes, and good lawyer jokes on Jokerz. Quinn, I have reviewed this case very carefully,” the divorce court. The lawyer said to St. Peter, “There must be some mistake! CASH PRIZES to the Top 10 Jokes every week! Did you hear about the lawyer who sued the funeral company over the coffin? The rest are true … Submit your Lawyer Jokes here! To review this information or withdraw your consent please consult the. (2/27/2011) A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living. The lawyer was having difficulty reading the small print on some legal docs, so his doctor prescribed some contract lenses. They’re mainly (not really) only necessary as the butt of a good joke. A: Lipstick Q: What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer? Noté /5. A man sued an airline company after it mislaid his luggage. Funny Lawyer Jokes. What do you call a 1000 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? Here are funny lawyer jokes and puns. Ok, just easing y’all into this list of twenty jokes about (us) and our state. I would be speculating if I told you. Lawyer Jokes  lawyer do have Heart, BUT. I had an attorney write my living trust,” she responded. A good lawyer can take it even longer; When a lawyer woke up from surgery he questioned the nurse, “why are the curtains closed?” “Yes. Where can you find a good lawyer? A: Lawyer's don't think they're funny, and no one else thinks they're jokes. "No, according to out calculations, you're 82." These hilarious Tweets are guaranteed to make you grin! 0. 22 / 75. The court recorder, or stenographer, sits over here. Short South Carolina Jokes Q. 100 characters remaining. Two lawyers walking through the woods spotted a vicious looking bear. 21 / 75. The Best "Out Of Office" E-Mail Auto-Replies; Chuck Norris Facts; Name of Race Horse; Bookmark. Photo: Nicole Fornabaio/RD.com. A: After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood. A bad lawyer lets the case go on for plenty of years. The lawyer was having difficulty reading the small print on some legal docs, so his doctor prescribed some contract lenses. Losing a case. When asked, "What is a contingent fee?" Sidewalks were treacherous after a heavy snowstorm blanketed the University of Idaho campus. A: At the city morgue. “Mr. Cut the rope. When a lawyer speaks for a long time, there is usually an extended sentence. Check out the best wedding jokes of all time. Tell us and we place your joke with your name on WorkJoke.com. Read one of our Funny Articles below or check out our other. Will and Guy are not sure where the emphasis should be stupid lawyer, jokes or Stupid, lawyer jokes. As a judge, I was sentencing criminal defendants when I saw a vaguely familiar face. Let’s be honest; lawyers make easy targets when it comes to humor. 'Good', said the man, 'In that case I'll have a whisky, and a lawyer for my alligator'. Only three. One is a bottom feeding, scum sucking dirty creature, the other is a fish. “Would you say you’re honest?”, “Honest?” replies Peterson. A secretary, a paralegal and a lawyer in a Minnesota law firm are walking through Como Park on … Funny Lawyer Jokes for our entertainment and yours. A bad lawyer can let a case drag out for several years. Speaking of which, this is a list of the funniest lawyer jokes ever. ). What is the difference between speed humps and lawyers. Here are some completely innocuous yet hilarious lawyer jokes for a good laugh! One in a million have a chance of becoming human over time. Q: What are lawyers good for? Check out real comedians’ favourite jokes. A: Three, One to climb the ladder. What is the difference between a catfish and a lawyer? I reviewed his record and found that the man was a career criminal, except for a five-year period in which there were no convictions. Early one winters morn a lawyer walks out to his front lawn and experiences the dew process. I'm only 55." What's wrong with Lawyer jokes? 73.4% (10 votes) Q: Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons? Q: What is the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull? by Team Scary Mommy. Jokes about Lawyers. Quick, Funny Jokes! Here are some completely innocuous yet hilarious lawyer jokes for a good laugh! What do you call a 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? Here are more hilarious bar jokes anyone can remember. Suddenly I found myself on a clean, snow-free section of walkway. Don’t miss our roundup of the funniest quotes of all time! Justice isn’t just blind—it’s snickering at these real courtroom give-and-takes: Judge (to young witness): Do you know what would happen to you if you told a lie? Here are funny lawyer jokes and puns. A: Their lips are moving. How many lawyers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Discover (and save!) The other is a fish. 56. When my 88-year-old mother was called for jury duty, she had to submit to questioning by the opposing lawyers. Jun 13, 2013 - Explore Greg Laux's board "Funny Lawyer Jokes" on Pinterest. -- What's the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer? Add Comments Comment and share this joke on Facebook or Twitter. LAWYER: “No, I mean what is the foundation of the case?” POLE: “It is made of concrete, bricks & mortar.” LAWYER: “Does either of you have a real grudge?” POLE: “No, we have a carport and don’t need a grudge.” LAWYER: “I mean, what are your relations like?” POLE: “All my relations live in Poland.” Lawyers Served in the Pub A man walked into a bar with an alligator under his arm and asked the bartender, 'Do you serve lawyers here'. So when the victim pointed him out in a lineup as one of four men who had attacked him, our client reacted vociferously. A minute later, a few maintenance workers did the same. One is a bottom-dwelling, garbage-eating scavenger. “I don’t know,” she said. Just say, "Fees." Post Cancel. We recommend our users to update the browser. Joke has 81.09 % from 2371 votes. Q: Why to lawyers wear neckties? This fledgling attorney worked hard on his initial pleading, which should have read “Attorney at Law” at the top of the first page. A gigolo only screws one person at a time. “Let me tell you something about honesty. A: If one side has one, the other side has to get one. These hilarious yearbook quotes will crack you up. Funny Lawyer Quotes “I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five.” —Stephen Wright “The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers.” —William Shakespeare King Henry VI Part 2. Memorize these funny jokes for National Tell a Joke Day! Don’t miss these side-splitting history jokes. Lawyer Jokes page 1. the lawyer asks. Funny Lawyers Jokes. 100 characters remaining. Lawyer Jokes. Arrested on a robbery charge, our law firm’s client denied the allegations. Read the best lawyer jokes and much more related to law on Jokerz. “That way,” she said innocently, “you can kill two birds with one stone.”. 24 tree jokes. In fact, take it as a compliment. Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech? In the cemetary. - we are constantly adding new jokes). Why can’t you explain puns to kleptomaniacs? An investment banker decides she needs in-house counsel, so she interviews a young lawyer. After I submitted the finished document for his review and signature, I was embarrassed when he pointed out a critical typing error. And what sort of case was that?”. The lawyer proclaimed that since he was the smartest man on the plane, that he deserved to survive. A good lawyer can make it last even longer. “He’s lying!” he yelled. 67 jokes about lawyers. A: To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins. Witness’s answer: Not … Funny, yet stupid lawyers jokes Read More » What do most lawyers wear to work? I was once a legal secretary to a young law clerk who passed the bar exam on his third try. It was an open and shut case. Try these funny jokes to defuse an awkward situation. Vote: share joke. As I sat with other prospective jurors listening to a woman drone on about how long the process was taking, a judge and two lawyers passed by, giving me a big hello. Impress a history buff with these hilarious history jokes. If I do win it, you get nothing." “What do you teach?”. To help someone after they commit a crime means you are their attorney. Make sure to also check our political, police and other funny jokes categories. Why is it illegal for lawyers to sleep with their clients? “There were only three of us.”. ... What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo? The puns, one liners, and foibles on this list not only serve as a trenchant critique of the bar association as a whole, but they’re also super funny. Lawyers are often the butt of jokes throughout the world. A: Yes, it is, but you can’t prove it! Lawyers don't think they're funny, and nobody else thinks they're jokes. Q: How are an apple and a lawyer alike? What do lawyers and sperm have in common? He went to a bar and asked this one guy how to get a date. SHARE. One to shake it. Here are 20 clever grammar jokes every word nerd will appreciate. Q: What did your sister die of? Q: Where can you find a good lawyer? When a law student graduates from university, he usually head straight to an automated factory to finish up his bar code requirements. 1699. your own Pins on Pinterest Why are pirates called pirates? I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he … funny jokes gay jokes ... Lawyer jokes. “Have you ever dealt with an attorney?” asked the plaintiff’s lawyer. 0. See more funny lawyer jokes. “I want to see Valerie,” the man replied. How do you differentiate between good and bad lawyers? Check out 100+ funny work cartoons to get you through the week! Lawyer jokes. These work-friendly jokes will still crack you up. I work in a courthouse, so when I served jury duty, I knew most of the staff. Funny lawyer jokes. The assistant district attorney asked such questions as: Had I ever been mugged? Lawyer Joke – 8 “Mr. CASH PRIZES to the Top 10 Jokes every week! Cut the rope. These hilarious Tweets are guaranteed to make you grin! Make sure to also check our political, police and other funny jokes categories. What do you call a 1000 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A good lawyer knows the law. Jun 13, 2013 - Explore Greg Laux's board "Funny Lawyer Jokes" on Pinterest. Mateus Campos Felipe/Unsplash. Funny jokes about lawyers, courts and judges. Early one winters morn a lawyer walks out to his front lawn and experiences the dew process. ). Apparently, I’ve been told laughing at yourself is great for the soul. Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? How do you make a group of lawyers to smile for a photo? What do you call 10,000 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean...funny! Because they arrgh! She took the box and promised to put it in the crew's refrigerator. In honour of this event, Folklaw felt duty bound to provide some comedic relief of its own. AJokeADay.com: Where It Pay$ To Be Funny! What my daddy does? Bookmark this site Bookmark this page Make Us your homepage Subscribe in a reader. 'Yes', said the bartender. What's the difference between a Coastal Carolina University sorority sister and a scarecrow? The madam opened the brothel door to see a rather dignified, well-dressed good looking man in his late 40s or early 50s. Absolutely hillarious gay one-liners! November 6, 2019 Updated December 8, 2020. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. They always take things literally. Court was in recess and only the clerk and a young man in custody wearing handcuffs were in the courtroom. Here are some splendid examples, taken from stenographer’s transcripts of real court cases. Lawyer Jokes,Really Short Funny Jokes. Done Press Ctrl-C (PC) or Cmd-C (Mac) to copy the sharable link above. Yo' Mama is so stupid, when they said, "Order in the court," she asked for fries and a shake. What my daddy does? Witness’s answer: Not … Funny, yet stupid lawyers jokes Read More » As a potential juror in an assault-and-battery case, I was sitting in a courtroom, answering questions from both sides. Discover (and save!) 101 Lawyer Jokes So Funny You Just Can’t Object to Them. Lawyer Joke – 8. “And every now and then. ... Lawyer: "Judge, I wish to appeal my client's case on the basis of ... More jokes . A lawyer was holding his his briefcase whilst cross examining the witness, eventually he rested his case. "Really?" a lawyer answered, "A contingent fee to a lawyer means, if I don't win your suit, I get nothing. Funny Jokes; Corny Jokes; Dirty Jokes; Lawyer Jokes; Long Jokes; Naughty Jokes; Hilarious Dirty Lawyer Joke Of The Day: Certain Things In Life. What is the main difference between god and a lawyer? Funny Lawyer Jokes. - Page 2 1. 4790. “No,” I shot back. These are the funniest lawyer jokes of all time. Looking at me as if I were nuts, he answered, “I’d recognize my cousin anywhere.”. Here are 50 bad jokes you can’t help but laugh at! 20 Hilarious Jokes For North Carolinians With A Sense Of Humor. This is weird, I thought—until I noticed that it was directly in front of the College of Law building. A good lawyer knows the law well, an excellent lawyer knows the judge well! Q: Have you ever heard about taking the Fifth? A: You would have to ask her. We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer) as we strive to provide site experiences for browsers that support new web standards and security practices. “Mr. A: The caterer. A good start. “Must you rub it in?” he asked. CASH PRIZES to the Top 10 Jokes every week! Find The Best Funny Lawyer Jokes If Your Answers Is Yes. As you can see,” I finished, “there are a lot of people involved in making this system work.”, At that point, the prisoner raised his cuffed hands and said, “Yeah, but I’m the one who makes it all happen.”. The defence attorney took a different approach, however. AJokeADay.com: Where It Pay$ To Be Funny! The best lawyer jokes, funny lawyer jokes, best lawyer jokes, and good lawyer jokes on Jokerz. Lawyer’s question: Have you lived in this town all your life? Perfect to tell your attorney or lawyer in or out of court. 58. Funny Jokes; Bar Jokes; Corny Jokes; Dirty Jokes; Lawyer Jokes; Long Jokes ; Naughty Jokes; Hilarious Dirty Best Lawyer Joke Of The Day: Getting A Date. Funny Clean Joke – 25. And one to sue the ladder company. What's wrong with Lawyer jokes? Studying law is generally seen as a very serious intellectual pursuit, that requires a good deal of intelligence and dedication to successfully complete. I was in juvenile court, prosecuting a teen suspected of burglary, when the judge asked everyone to stand and state his or her name and role for the court reporter. Peterson,” she says. If this just so happens to be your chosen profession, don’t take it personally (sidebar: no litigation necessary). A: They both look good hanging from a tree. When they land, they screw up everything forever. How do you get a lawyer out of a tree? by Team Scary Mommy. Lawyers don't think they're funny, and nobody else thinks they're jokes. Perfect to tell your attorney or lawyer in or out of court. What is the difference between a catfish and a lawyer? These contemporary takes are worthy of the Bard himself. After I prosecuted a man for killing a bird out of season with his slingshot, the court clerk suggested setting up a date for him to return with both the money for the fine and proof of community service. “I see you are a teacher,” he said. -- What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer? How many lawyer jokes are there, anyway? Want to roast the happy couple before you toast them? Lawyer Jokes and Puns. Watching people slip and slide, I gingerly made my way to class. #59 – 50. Sadly, he lost his case. Or, something along those lines. When he got it back, he found a terse comment in the judge’s handwriting on page 7: “Stop romancing—propose already.”. Chuck Norris once went to court for a crime, the judge pleaded guilty. Witness: Yes. The vacuum cleaner keeps the dirtbag on the inside. your own Pins on Pinterest Lawyer Jokes,Really Short Funny Jokes. Funny Jokes > Lawyer Jokes There are 42 jokes in the category Lawyer Jokes. Funny Lawyer Jokes. Here are our best lawyer jokes that we hope you find appealing. What’s the difference between a bad lawyer and a good lawyer? Lawyers are allegedly the worst. “I’m the one who stole the truck.”. Here are some splendid examples, taken from stenographer’s transcripts of real court cases. I was a brand-new attorney in practice alone, and I had a likewise inexperienced secretary fresh out of high school. stories of the world’s dumbest criminals. See more ideas about Lawyer jokes, Legal humor, Lawyer. Vote: share joke.