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Then a month later he came home and told me he never loved me and his mind was f$&k#% . Why do this horrific act?? Then at the same time, he says if I just shut up and leave him alone, he will just do his own thing and I can do mine. Sign the SBP, 10 yr rule for half his retirement and get your cs and alimony. He called my 93 year old mother and told her he threw me out!! This can get in the way of true emotional intimacy and feel . God bless you. He left while i was at work after his deeds of emotionally cheating online w countless womam n hitting on women by neighbourhood saying he is single. When she declared she was leaving to focus on her own happiness I was both frightened and relieved. DEAR ABBY: I live with my longtime boyfriend, "George," and his 88-year-old father, "Frank." Frank is not your average 88-year-old. Hithis is an awful thing but its so nice to read these messages and know Im not alone in feeling this heartbreak. Im beyond hurt that she didnt talk to me beforehand about any issues, knowing I would have listened and helped to the best of my ability. And if she cant see that its her loss. He was my best friend, and had promised we could co-parent., My childs father was leaving me. I pay for everything. I am in very similar situation. "No!". He lied to me while he still lived here after he decided we should separate and told me there was no one else when he was already texting this girl behind ny back. You may recognise a similar situation She has left me 10 to 15 times since we have been together but each time it still hurts the same. Just have to keep moving forward. I have never felt so betrayed in my life and never would of thought I would become a statistic. Unbelievable. He told me not to cry, he couldnt handle it. I miss the physical contact which I thought was good. I need advice. I dont know if he has fallen for her, if it is a mid life crisis or what. Me finding pills over and over hidden in her car. SHARE this story on Facebook with your friends and family. (Her x comitted suicide when I met her). Married to a Workaholic: When Your Spouse Works All the Time Even if your spouse returns, the relationship as you know it may have changed, and its OK to express grief: Youre grieving the loss of this relationship, what it meant to you, and the role this person played in your life, says Garcia. Depression in Relationships: When to Say Goodbye - Healthline I read It goes back to their childhood when they were never held accountable for their actions and would lie and cover up rather than be chastised by their parents one of which was probably narcissistic too . Neither of us if ever been unfaithful so far as I know. I am missing a lot more but this story is long enough as it is. Forgive and love, indefinitely. 2. Ill never forget the date. Jeez, sounds like the 26 year itch. Its easy to say move on when deep down inside you still have that love that you cant tear from the inside. I feel completely invisible in my own home. It can be rough to feel as if you are on your own. I suspected something was going on with her why she broke and i taught she was seeing someone and maybe this guy from before.. And the same is true of your new companion. Take care Don A lot of times people will stay in an unhappy relationship until they meet someone new that gives them motivation to finally leave. When your children were young, you probably used to have fun and spend time with them. The guilt. During that 30 days, I started thinking that I didnt want to be with someone that would treat me and his family this way, so I distanced myself. My mum passed away suddenly in July 2014. When when I questioned her parenting style (her first sonmy stepson grew up to be a narcacistic bully), she came back the next week, having already been to a divorce attorney and had already filed. She has quit her job and spends the daytime in our house waiting for the kids to finish school and leaves before I get back (leaving the house a tip). I feel it to.. A homeowner was coming over to car to see if everything was okay and my son grabbed bottle and stuffed it between the seat she was out of it and managed to get back to the house where my son wanted to go home. I wish you all the best I guess Im in the shock phase right now. Well I am two weeks over surgery and still at a wait and see state with my husband. 4 years ago my husband came home and announced he was thinking of divorce. He finally moved out after telling the kids he had to find true happiness. I felt like a criminal. And protect yourself because if shes not looking out for you you need to. Im not so much after advice, but comfort would be great right about now. In a way i feel the same way. I never had empty nest for longer than 3 months and things were much better between my husband and I. We have seen these in all of the breakup movies.. I have to have faith. Im not saying to use self-help books as a magic pill that will solve all your problems. He has disconnected from your relationship and has "one foot out the door" so to speak. Funny thing, I didnt know it! If a man is wondering, looking, you can almost bet he is cheating. Said she didnt love me and turned to her boss. We have 3 girls 10.11 and 13. She ignored my calls and texts between then. Every day I feel like Im about to die inside. Im so sorry to read this (and other) stories. She seemed to be in conflict with herself yet on my level entirely. Look it up. Blog. Her mum deals mostly with the kids from her side whilst she meets with her new guy spending weekends in hotels having great sex (apparently) whilst I am truly the single parent thinking about her having the great sex. Hi Andy Please be strong think and focus on your self and that will then help you look after your self and be there for your child. Guilt that your children have a mentally ill parent that you can . I never was, I dont get it. to save to buy a house. Now all I want is bed and tears. After days of denying a relationship he finally admitted he had met her just over a month ago and they were seeing each other. I had them sat night and she wanted them back Sunday, I said no, I want them the 2 nights we agreed on and kept them the second night. I told her actions speak louder than words and ur refusing to talk but abandoning me to leave the state. Wow harsh, I could swear that was written for me sheesh. Any opinions? My "ugly" boyfriend cheated and left me because he finds me Then we play/claim victim. I put the number in and he had named her 1 of his work mates. b) they get sick c) you are unfortunate enough to owe them money ( or as they think, owe them a life ) what happens to a child or sibling of one as they grow older. He held me back and then confessed that he was bi-sexual and had been texting with another man. Dont tell me to cherish what I had just focus on whats next. 1. My girlfriend of 5 years and mother of my child seems to have just done the very same thing to me. Guilt that you divorced your mentally ill spouse. We're told in God's Word, " The eyes of man are never satisfied. Hi Kelly, how are you doing these days? A condition in and of itself is not a reason to . It takes a brave man to walk out on his wife and kids He is helpful, and proper, and considerate, and all of the communication between my lawyer and him, and paying everything early and is mister proper. My husband is in the military and has spent alot of time away from us because of deployments and travel. As far as how your feeling, its the worst. I finally waited by the locker and he finally came to the locker 4 hours. Hi Jon All Im saying is people leave for reasons a higher power would probably only know and its our duty as humane emotionally broken individuals to get over that obstacle and be happy it happened sooner than later. Reading these comments has made me feel less alone and I want to thank you all for sharing. The only thing that changed was he was now having to pay for his own health insurance. He says they have not had sex but it is an emotional affair just as bad or worse! Dear Tim We were happy, we valued each others company, we always went through any hardships together. I asked him for an explanation. It is a very bizarre and humbling feeling. Now he says its completely over but I dnt know if I can trust him. She always eyeballed a house that her male boss was selling. You may click to view our members full profiles and contact the therapists themselves for more information. He blames everything on me told his brother that I made his daughter hate him. Health not good. Whit from Maine, Hi Im 35 my husband is 42. In this type of love, how others view us is more important than how we actually feel. I am an amazing husband and I am taking it all wrong. After finally loosing respect for him I no longer feel the pain. By commenting you acknowledge acceptance of GoodTherapy.org'sTerms and Conditions of Use. You might want to file a complaint against her to freeze your money before you get that back. What have I done! You could argue that all long-term relationships lose their spark, but falling out of love usually is code for Im done here. While there are cases in which couples fall back in love, most often its hard to renew this emotional connection. She really screwed you. My husband of 5 years told me he no longer loves me about 4 months ago. So I told her last week this crap isnt right and if she wants to be single every weekend than I cant be there at all and we will be zero contact at all. My wife of fifteen years did almost exactly the same thing to me. Within a month she snaps the axel and damages the side of her car at a gas station pillar that protects the pumps. .. Its just awful. The more you attempt to this the farther you push your spouse toward what the evil wanted to begin with, loneliness, despair, and hurt. My take, my experience, the one who cheated and left wasnt as committed I am starting to realize no matter how many of her fav mags I buy her or if I bring her flowers or chocolate cupcakes for treats constantly, she will barely even notice let alone understand how hard it is for me to choke it back and make that kind of effort again. But I still love her, more than those words could ever describe. My husband of 10yrs left me, said he didnt live me anymore. You will be fine in the long run but make him be financially responsible for you and your son and make sure you can get counseling to help you both. And I never told her of my past until we started to drift apart sexually after the birth of our second child, which was 6 years into the marriage. So, if you want to give your marriage another chance,watch his simple and genuine video here. Saving the relationship when youre the only one trying is tough but it doesnt always mean your relationship should be scrapped. First of all i feel sorry for you i know where your coming from.my wife left me after 16 yrs. Please never allow anyone to take that from you. This was a deliberate act carried out by those who are unethical and immoral. Mental illness in a spouse requires a whole other article which I will write. Just do your best to keep it together for your kids, and realize that there will be a rainbow at the end of the dark cloud. Love has to be tough this is one reason no matter what you must not take her back . It seems that 3 weeks before my writing her my history and my concerns for us, she had an affair. Leaving Marriage Because God Wants Me to Be Happy I have a massively supportive family who I could lean on and who helped me in any way they could, but it still took a long time for me to find myself again, to be whole without the person I thought made me whole. How you feel right now will not be the same as how you feel a month from now. We fell apart in every way possible. Knowing what to do when your husband abandons you, your wife picks up and leaves, or your partner suddenly calls it quits can be challenging. Pray, Give it to God and keep Faith. Im so hurt n lost. He insisted he had never acted on it, but that it turned him on. She mightve been young and had settled down with kids at a young age and wanted an escape, but with that Guy it wont Last and if it does she wont be Happy. I also lost my mother nine months ago. This is what divorce looks like after 50 years of marriage - New York Post I Cheated On My Husband & The Experience Changed Me Forever - Bolde This has to be an affair right? So sorry jason.My wife just left me after 28 yrs.I know the pain.Its time to find someone else.who will appreciate She didnt deserve any of this.. Conversely, if your spouse works long hours out of necessity, this can signify that they're willing . Yea, meeting otherpeople may be fun for a little while, but coming home to someone who knows you inside out is un-irreplaceable. She refuses to put in any real effort with the kids too, guess that comes as no surprise as you really have to be that way to have done THAT to them. I told her no more. Her parents were in denial as my wife was they also live 31/2 hrs away which is no excuse when I begged for their support. Things like eating right, exercising, therapy, meditation, massage, friends, family Anything to get better Its horrible.. I dont want to give her the satisfaction knowing she was able to completely shatter my heart again and I feel pretty friggin dumb having believed she actually wanted to save our family, our dream. Common I tried police, child services, court all backfired in my face and I lost them all together for 7 months I WILL NOT get anything like that involved again as I have absolutely no faith in it. I broke down and hit the ultimate low and the very next day she used it and stripped me of custody and I didnt get to see my kids for 7 months. "I can't please you. I know it sounds like a hard thing to hear, but sometimes when people get divorced their whole lives change. But I have someone to thank for the life I currently have. I am well aware shes had a difficult life, as have I, and from the moment we started dating I let her know I was always there for her. My fianc and I live far away from each other and maybe see each other every other weekend. They feed off your emotions , reel you in with false promises then get off with pumped up ego when you crumble -thinking you couldnt possibly live without their superior super human selves. I promised to do anything. I still love him and hate myself for it. I thought the point of counseling was to speak your mind. I hope things are going a little better. Letting go doesn't mean forgetting, pretending your heart isn't broken, or putting up walls so you don't get hurt again. Peace of mind is what I want. I dnt no wat to do. She asks for more and more me days and now I have the kids every single weekend. Sometimes you have to keep telling yourself its not you, its really them and they will get theres on there time.